A Reflection on Love: When I think about this word, I think about sacrifice. Love is made visible through action. When a person sacrifices for another person, this person is going out of themselves to do something for the other person

A Reflection On Love (Part 1)

 Love

When I think about this word, I think about sacrifice. Love is made visible through action. When a person sacrifices for another person, this person is going out of themselves to do something for the other person. It could be to buy a meal for a poor man on the street or to save a drowning child in a deep pool.

What about Nurses? Before I was offered this career conversion program to become a Staff Nurse, I wondered about the relationship between Nurses and love in the sense of how they demonstrate love to the sick and dying. Now that I am a Nurse, the patients teach me how to love the sick and dying. I no longer stay in the zone of ”wonder” but I have shifted to the zone of ”living it”.

Every day our patients are faced with the harsh and brutal reality of suffering and death. Someone dies every minute out there in the world. The truth is that we are moving towards an end as we breathe, the pain and the anguish, the loss and the grief, the hopelessness and despair that comes with death has no remedy. It is confrontational, it is forceful and it redefines our existence. It grabs our attention and invites us to consider faith, hope and love.

Despite all the sufferings and death that we as Nurses witness in the hospital and in the face of this powerful adversity, there is still hope.

It is love.

Recall the moments of the great love stories you have ever read or watched movies where towards the end, the lover goes against all odds to save the other person who is in danger or struck by an illness. Their love is so fierce, that it fears nothing, not even death. These are the kind of stories that stir within us something so deep that they give us hope to reach the impossible and compel us to give all that we are.

And, in some parallel, I see Nurses reaching out to patients and giving them hope. When we show love to our patients, we are helping them to hope again. Their existence becomes purposeful and they experience something very profound even amid their sufferings. Some of them are affected so much by our love and care that they write and share Thanksgiving cards. They remember these experiences before they give off their last breath. Those who get discharged from the hospital and continue to live the remainder part of their lives remember these experiences and share them with their friends and families. We as Nurses give them another chapter to write their stories.

And to me, this is what Nursing is all about! Nurses are revolutionaries. Where there is darkness, they bring light. Where there is despair, they give hope. Where there is suffering, they bring relief. Where there are tears, they wipe them and give reasons to be joyful.

Love is worth everything and therefore requires sacrifice. A kind of giving that comes from our own freedom of choice. It doesn’t ask us for anything but it demands everything that we are. We as Nurses become part of our patient’s sufferings and joy. When a child is born, he or she is shown love. When the time comes for a person to pass on, it is love that matters and it is the only one that takes its foremost place in hearts hence love is the most powerful agent against suffering and death.

In the end, Nurses can hold the hands of their patients and say ”Thank you for giving me an opportunity to care for you. You have changed me to become a more loving and caring Nurse.”

Love wins in the end, and brings the best out of the patient and the Nurse

A Reflection On Love (Part 2)

 Love is a companion of Nursing. A wise mentor once told me that we need love to nurse a patient and nursing is an invitation to love the sick, dying and vulnerable. Nurses are collaborators of love because we are called to uplift the dignity of the human person and serve others out of love and self-giving.

We are dealing with people and their brokenness. At some point in their life, they ponder on what lasts forever. I encountered this when I was a student in ward 5B when a patient told me, ‘’Bryne! My age is going up, and I am one foot in the grave. I have nominated my insurances and savings to my children and wife. I have reached a level of status in my career and achieved many milestones. Yet, I have come to realize that none of these lasts forever. We spend so much time on things that don’t last forever. Are we spending time with things that lasts forever?”

I listened to the patient and allowed his words to sink into my heart and mind. His words challenged my intellect and stirred my heart to reflect on what is it that would last forever.

The answer was love.

The same patient then when on to share – “In times of a pandemic, I have seen the tangible expression of love from Nurses, and they are ‘Angels’ at my bedside, who helped me to recover, comforted me, instilled hope in me, and at times accompany ill people to the point of their death. With certainty, I can share that Nurses are witnesses of love for the suffering and sick like me and they give witness to something that has endured since the time of the human civilization.”

We, Nurses, share in the sufferings of our patients. I know that sometimes the busyness of our work prevents us from connecting with our patients as we must deal with a wide range of tasks before hand over shift. Florence Nightingale said, “So never lose an opportunity of urging a practical beginning, however small, for it is wonderful how often in such matters the mustard-seed germinates and roots itself.”

Despite the busyness in the subacute wards, I have witnessed my colleagues living out this principle. I have seen how the Nurses connect with the patients in practical and small ways through their passion to show love to the sick. My preceptor taught me that one way to begin the day with our patients is to approach them and greet them saying – “Good morning/afternoon! I am your nurse in-charge, and I am going to take care of you. I will do my best to provide the best care for you.” When patients encounter such greetings from us, they are touched by our genuineness and kindness. A Clinical Instructor from the subacute ward told me, ‘’It’s about bringing hope and joy to our patients in a challenging situation where suffering and pain seems to be the main voice in their life. We make a difference in their lives and our acts of kindness and care speaks louder than their sufferings.” All these little gestures are like planting mustard seeds that will grow into a tree of hope in our patients.

Reflecting on what my mentor said, “You need love to nurse a patient and nursing is an invitation to love the sick, dying and vulnerable”, reminds me of an unforgettable event that took place on a global scale. For instance, Tan Tock Seng fought against the deadly virus during the Covid pandemic, when the virus infected both patients and medical personnels. We were carrying a huge cross up to the mount of Golgotha. I believe everyone was exhausted and sacrificed their time and energy to take care of the sick and dying. We faced bed crunch and medical professionals were on the brink of quitting. We were serving the country’s greatest need in a time of crisis like the Covid pandemic. We did our best to keep alive those severely afflicted by the Covid virus. Patients who recovered showed their gratitude by posting notes on social media or thanksgiving letters reading ‘’Thank you for being the light on the hill when darkness fell upon us all. We love Doctors, Nurses and all the healthcare professionals who showed commitment, strength and resilience”.

This powerful message of gratitude invites us to reflect on how nursing as a profession is grounded in love, compassion and care.

Thank you.

A Reflection On Love (Part 3)

After a morning shift, one of my patients called me over to his bed. As I served him a cup of water, I engaged in a conversation to get to know my patient a little better. The conversation was an interesting one because this patient of mine shared about suffering and love from his personal experiences. I felt there was wisdom and truth that was applicable to my own personal life as well.

Me: How are you doing so far?

Patient: I can’t wait to be discharged. I want to see my children. I am glad my wife visits me. My children are overseas working and studying.

Me: I am happy to hear this. Don’t worry! Everything is going to be fine.

Patient: I have seen many things in life. I was a mechanical engineer. My work involved a lot of problem-solving and logical thinking as I dealt with complex systems.

Me: My elder brother was from an engineering background, but he switched over to law. You are right! Engineers diagnose problems and need to pay attention to details in their work to prevent hiccups. Not an easy job!

Patient: I loved my job. I moved from Myanmar to Singapore in hopes of finding better opportunities.

Me: I am curious. What is the most complex thing you have ever dealt with as an Engineer?

Patient: Wow! Deep question! If you ask me honestly, I would say it is the human heart. I used to manage a team of engineers under me, and let me tell you that the human heart is far more complex than any human technology in the world. From my experiences, I came to realize that if you want to build a successful engineering company, you need to have the ability to manage people and their emotions. It is one thing to build competency in your work, but it is another thing to build emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills to connect with people and listen to the needs of their hearts.

Me: You mentioned the human heart, and I find it very interesting. I am a mid-career switch. I joined this profession because I wanted to understand an important aspect of the human dimension, and that is suffering. Would you mind sharing with me instances in which you were shown love in the midst of suffering?

Patient: One notable example, in my opinion, would be the nurses and doctors who have been around me ever since my hospital admission. The nurses are very kind and understanding towards my situation. I admire the skills that they possess and their attentiveness to my needs. There were times I grew bored of my food, and the nurses helped change my diet. They change my diapers, clean me up, and serve me medications. I don’t experience this in my line of work as an engineer, though I serve society, mostly working on technology and machines. Nurses, on the other hand, are engineers for the sick person, including doctors too. They deal with the human heart more directly.

Me: Thank you for sharing your wonderful experience with nurses and doctors in general, but especially with nurses, as they are the ones that provide bedside care the majority of the time. If you don’t mind, I would like to ask how you would go about finding love in suffering? How would you find meaning and joy in suffering? What wisdom can you offer to me and all the nurses, doctors, and healthcare workers at TTSH?

Patient: Let me share in a simple way. First things first, we must respect each and every person. Before we find love in suffering, or joy and meaning in our suffering, we need to understand that every person has dignity. For instance, TTSH has nurses from different countries who come from different walks of life yet they all have an inherent dignity. When you recognize that every person has an inherent dignity, only then can you find love, joy, and meaning in suffering, because dignity forms the foundation for understanding how each human person is precious, irreplaceable, and worthy.

Me: There is so much truth in what you shared.

Patient: There are aspects of our lives that we can control and those that we cannot. For example, I can do my best to fix an engine in a plane by following the protocols and performing safety checks. Those are in my control. Then there are things that are not in my control; for instance, the plane encounters a disaster in the air. So this leads to acceptance, which I want to share with you! Yes, acceptance is next to understanding dignity when we talk about finding love, joy, and meaning in suffering.

Me: Could you share more, please?

Patient: For example, I know why I am in the hospital. I have to accept my circumstances and the changes that I need to make in my life once I am discharged from the hospital. I have to accept that I might not be able to perform certain sports due to my health condition. I have to accept that I may need to seek long-term physiotherapy and other healthcare aids outside to help me cope with my everyday life. Acceptance is important as it is a way of me telling myself – “Life has thrown a big stone at me. I am down. I will get up because I have so much more to give to the ones I love. I accept the beautiful rainbow so I will also accept the lightning and storm. I accept sunshine. I must also accept the rain.”

Me: In other words, while we acknowledge that although suffering is a part of the human experience, we can also make choices that lead us to choose love.

Patients: Yes! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my experiences with you.

Me: I have learned a lot from you. I will keep you in my prayers. See you again!

As I headed home, I couldn’t help but think about those wise words from my patient; hence, I felt inspired to write about love.

I think I have been writing a lot about love. Love is incredible, life-giving, and a great mystery. It is bigger than the big bang. Heaven is full of love. It is like a cup overflowing with eternal love and the One who sits on the throne is a Being whose very essence is love. I believe human love is a reflection or glimpse of divine love. An analogy that I can think of is water. When we drink water, it unites with our body. We form a union with water and the act of drinking it. The water enters into the cells in our body. It refreshes our body, and energizes our heart, mind and soul. It is as if water has a spiritual element in it because it’s not just the human thirst it quenches but also the spiritual thirst. Water strengthens our entire being. It is the same with receiving love, giving love, and being a person filled with love.

If love is so good, oh! How good God is! I used to think that I should spend my time on earth making rooms in my heart to store divine love when I got to heaven. A wise mentor once told me that there is no room in our hearts that can contain such divine love because in heaven, you are in complete union with Love Himself.

End

The post A Reflection on Love: When I think about this word, I think about sacrifice. Love is made visible through action. When a person sacrifices for another person, this person is going out of themselves to do something for the other person appeared first on Singapore Assignment Help.